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Archive for the ‘it’s all japanese to me!’ Category


This morning I woke up and was extremely hungry.  I mean hungrier than a hippo or Randy Jackson before his stomach stapling surgery. I was searching through my fridge and I came across 2 things. 1. tubed cookie dough (Delicious!) and 2. eggs.

I thought to myself…what should I eat?  Eggs seem substantial.  Cookie dough seems delicious and so simple to eat…just a squeeze of the tube and satisfaction would be mine.  No muss, no fuss, no pesky shells!

So after 7 – 10 minutes, I finished eating my raw cookie dough and I started to go into a severe sugar and gluten comma, I began to regret my decision. I wish there was a better solution to my breakfast dilemma. I wish I could have eaten the substantial eggs but in an easier, more convenient form.  If you are anything like me, I really don’t like eating eggshells.  I find it make my eggs far too crunchy.

Well, luck be a lady this morning!  Look what I came across on the interweb!  Another incredibly useful, amazing, highly desired invention/food product created by the Japanese!  Tubed Eggs!  What could honestly be better?  Seriously?  Anything?  Seeing Justin Bieber ride a unicycle while eating Jello?  That would compare….but the Japanese have probably already create an App for that.  So don’t you worry!   Go on, grab some tubed eggs this morning and squeeze your breakfast onto your plate or (how I like it) directly into your pie hole.

 


I don’t know how many times I’ve been wearing sunglasses and thinking “well these glasses are great, they protect my eyes, but I cant see behind me! whats with that!” Well say goodbye to those embarrassing moments, and say hello to Speyes, the fantastic glasses that transform your eyes into mini telescopes. So discrete, you can wear them for any occasion! WEDDINGS! “whoa back off bitches, those flowers are mine!” SURPRISE PARTIES “I can see all of you hiding, nice try!”  BIRTHS “Keep pushing! the baby is com..oh my gosh I see another one up there!” DATES “After taking a closer look at this relationship, I dont think this is gunna work out.” JOB INTERVIEWS “One of my greatest strengths is foresight *wink*.”

Don’t be a loser, be a looker! Get your pair of Speyes now!!


You’ve stopped taking birth control.  You have discussed wanting to have a baby with your significant other. You and your partner are both aware and ready for the sleepless nights ahead. You are ready for a baby. It’s time to get pregnant, right?

Wrong.  Dead wrong.

Most women don’t think about what having a baby will do to their lives.  They don’t realize the detrimental effect it will have on their fashion sense. Not everyone knows that a baby does not typically match their  favourite outfit. Most moms that carry around their babies in those baby knapsack things look like total and utter douches and they will likely end up on What Not to Wear! I know what your thinking, time to tie the tubes and settle for buying a cat.  Wrong!  Cats aren’t fashionable either (haven’t you ever watched Hoarders?)   Also, the amazing japanese inventors have done it once again, they have solved all your baby fashion nightmares.  These lovely baby sweaters come in a variety of colours and fabrics.  How styling (and not at all creepy) !!


Laura and I both know what it’s like to be stuck in a stuffy office all day.  You know that song, “Everybody’s working for the weekend”  that song was basically wrote about us.  Anyways, sometimes we are so busy that we don’t have time to step outside and get some fresh air.  It’s can be really difficult because some people we work with have the bad case of bratwurst feet and it gets really stankin stanky in here.  Laura and I jumped for joy when we found out about this miraculous japanese invention.  The fashionable fresh air mask.  How convenient.  Just put this bad boy on your desk, attach it to your face and as Faith Hill would say, “Just Breathe”.  It’s as simple as that.  You could literally live in a basement full of cats or rats like this guy and you’d would be totally fresh and fine.


Ever gotten ready for bed, and climbed in only to realize that you have forgotten your pillow?
Ever at work and lay your head down on your desk for a few minutes, only to wake up to a pounding headache…because you didnt have…a pillow?
Ever go to a club and meet a really great guy, but couldn’t go home with him cause you didn’t bring your pillow?! and you watched as he took home the girl at the end of the bar who happened to have one. sucks to be you.

Well that girl was smart, cause she had Pillo.m.g. A full functioning, 100% cotton, stain resistant pillow that attaches to your head so you will never face those embarassing moments when you say “damn, I shoulda brought my pillow”. Like when you go for your morning run, and halfway through you just need to nap, but you’re too far from home, so you lay down on the bench and rest your head on an elderly mans lap and you contract lice. shoulda brought your pillow!

So wear this baby everywhere and your life will improve by 0.05%! look at this girl! she is SUPER happy! She’s about to hit up da club and party hard!  you go girl!


Most people don’t know this but Justin Bieber is actually of Japanese descent. Some may say he hails from Stratford Ontario, but those folks are wrong. Dead wrong.

Justin Bieber is a talented little japanese man. He can sing, he can dance, he can rock a side-swipe-douche-do like no other.  Justin wanted to try something new and fresh.  Something that had never been done before.  His mom suggested a wig line, his dad suggested a shirt that makes you look like you have absolutely no body definition.  He shunned them both and decided to take on the most logical venture: a nail polish line.

Now, most of you might say that there have been many nail polish lines in the past.  To this I say, true, but have these said nail polish lines had the tears of a baby, the sweat of one less lonely girl and the chest hair of (future) Beiber himself. Nine! (that means no in German and possibly Japanese)

Nail Polish


This invention was not created in Japan, although it is ridiculous so…it’s still Japanese to me!

Have you ever wanted to be so close to a loved one that you muttered the words “I wish we could wear the same underpants”? I’m sure you have, countless times. Well these inventors finally came up with fundies, the underwear built for two. Wear these undies to formal outings, concerts, seminars or even just when your at home gardening. I swear this is the only way to never lose track of your loved one.


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