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Posts Tagged ‘dora the explorer


At 9:45 this morning, a loud scream echoed through the windows of a TD bank at yonge and finch. Immediately following this disturbance, bystanders claim to have seen a large brown-haired figure, with a pink shirt and bulging purple backpack, bolt from the entrance. She has been identified as Dora Alejandrina Blanca Marquez. Formerly known by her screen name, Dora The Explorer. She was quickly detained after being spotted a few blocks from the bank, asking viewers at home to help her find ways to reach places with the help of her Map. Rookie mistake. Police have discovered that robbery is just part of a long list of felonies – drug trafficking, spousal abuse, and identity theft – to name a few. She is currently being held in custody at Pearson airport awaiting deportation to spain, where she will be tried as an adult – amongst the records of her colourful past, officals have discovered that Marquez is in fact a 45-year old midget hiding as an 8-year old girl. They believe she drew inspiration from the movie The Orphan.


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