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Posts Tagged ‘Africa

Aries: Wear a skinny tie today.  A thick tie will make you seem to mischievous and untrustworthy  (like a Leo).

Libra: Stop wearing purple lipstick. it makes you look like a hooker. for real.

Taurus: Tell your co-worker that they have something on their face. Laugh at them.  When they go to the washroom to fix themselves up.. go on their facebook and change their status to “I like to bathe in Philadelphia cream cheese”

Scorpio: WHAT?! no way! sorry my pyschic senses just told me something crazy thats going to happen to you. I cant tell you though. okay I can. It rhymes with merpes. you better get that checked.

Gemini: Take a bath today.  Try cream cheese instead of water.  You may get stuck so keep a cell phone handy to call for paramedics.

Cancer: Stop wearing sunglasses at night. they make you look like a douchebag, like people with those tweety bird-steering wheel covers, or neighbours with above-ground pools that take up their entire backyard. idiots.

Leo: Do not speak to anyone today that is wearing a large hat.  They are smuggling illegal  potato bugs  from Africa.

Virgo: Take a cooking class tonight.  Bring your own pots and pans, hair net, spoons, pet lobster and the first season of  Hells Kitchen or Full House on DVD.

Sagittarius: Go on a 30 hour famine for 2 hours. what? thats ridiculous, you say. well you know whats ridiculous? your ears.

Capricorn: Do not give up on your dreams.  Marilyn Denis wants to talk to you.  I have no idea why. Perhaps you hit her car or you are pregnant with her sons baby.  I don’t know all the facts, but I know she wants to talk to you.

Aquarius: people are talking about you behind your back. no really, look behind you, they are having a really great conversation.

Pisces: Comment on a blog post today.  Try this one.  Use the alias Melba Lee Toast.

Ophiuchus: you’re really bad at accents. stop doing them.

Okay, so we haven’t received anymore responses from celebs yet, I think they are all taking time to answer the questions. They are pretty complicated. So in the meantime, we decided to practice on Chad Kroeger, so we don’t get rusty.

Nickleback formed in Alberta in 1995. The band members bonded over their mutual love for photographs and screen doors. After 15 long years, they are still around, singing about things on Joeys head (who cares about whats on joeys head, who the hell is Joey?!!!) AND Chad Kroeger still hasn’t cut his hair. ughhhhhhh. I hate you chad.

see chads fake answers (but probably very close to the truth) below!

1) What is your favourite 90’s sitcom?
Loved Fred Penner
no chad, that’s not considered a sitcom.
Oh…that’s too bad.

2) Do you own any music by Rita MacNeil?
If by Rita MacNeil you mean my own music, then yes, I have a whole room full of glorious rita macneil music

3) Do you have any nicknames?
oh you know, the usual: mophead, teen-stash, douchebag (the last one is my favourite)

4) Do you have a favourite youtube video? If so, what?
Oh man, I watch this one all the time. really awesome stuff

5) Do you have a favorite hat? If so, please describe or send us a photo of you wearing said hat
yep. this is my favourite hat.
Thats not a hat chad, that’s a pickle.

6) Do you have any hidden talents? If so, please describe, or send us a video of you demonstrating said talent whilst wearing your favourite hat mentioned in question 5.
Not many people know this but Im really good at modelling. I can stare right into your soul through a photograph.
“look at this photograph, everytime I do it makes me laugh”
stop singing
“how did our eyes get so red? and what the hell is on Joey’s head?”
WHOS JOEY?!!!! what a stupid line. you’re the worst.

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