Archive for October 2011
Aries: You will eat a meal today that was once covered in Bat feces. Poo!
Libra: The creepy looking dog you saw earlier is actually a rabid wolf dressed up for Halloween. Deadly!
Taurus: Long lasting deodorant? More like chlorophyll!
Scorpio: Stop being such a witch. Unless you are serious about the wicken ways. Much respect.
Gemini: Do no help someone in need today. They will murder you and feed you to their pet lion. Spooky!
Cancer: You smell like an egg salad sandwich. Narly.
Leo: I hope you aren’t going to the washroom right now. I guarantee you that there is a python in your toilet. Oh ssssnap.
Virgo: Shave your face tonight. Tomorrow something will start growing under your nose and will remain there for a whole month.
Sagittarius: Do not eat an apple today. There will be a needle in it and you will get infected with a serious and deadly virus! Scandalous!
Capricorn: Don’t panic, but there is a ghost on or in your genitals. Uh oh!
Aquarius: You will start a new job of some sort today. Most likely cleaning out dead peoples organs. Gruesome!
Pisces: The ghost of your great grandmother is living in your neighbours Schnauzer. Go to her.
Ophiuchus: You don’t even exist. Today or ever. Eeerie!
We’ve had about 32,000 emails and counting asking us to give our halloween costume advice. Here’s a few costume ideas for you.
If only everyone were as enthusiastic as this guy.
Okay Laura, don’t be too dramatic. I will never quit design chicks. Ever. I just quit my day job though to go on to bigger and better things. I have now convinced Laura to join me in my new venture. What will we be doing you ask? We will be teaching photoshop to old people. Why you ask? Simple. We want to be stinking, filthy rich. How will we become stinking, filthy rich you ask? Simple. We will teach old bitties photoshop, duh.
Picture this: you are old, I mean, cripple & pruney old, and your beatiful 20 something year old grand daughter snaps a picture of you. You take a peak at it and gasp. Who is that cripple pruney broad in the photo before you? It’s you! Well, how is that a picture appropriate for you facebook profile picture? I can tell you the answer, it’s NOT. Take a few lessons from us and you will be able to turn your photo from wrinkly old prune to a Jennifer Anniston look-a-like. What do you think a geriatric would pay for such services? We’ve done some (minimal) research and we’ve concluded that they would spend about $3,000 an hour. Cha-ching!! If you are interested in such services please contact Laura or I. Just google us.
Check out our photo bellow, where we took a picture of Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen looking like trashy, used up celebs and made them look young, youthful and ready to have some peanut butter jelly time. Yes, it is the exact same picture with a little photoshop manipulation. Hold the phone! We are only offering our services to retired people willing to shell out some serious dough. We did this project for Mary Kate and Ash pro-bono and becuase they’ve been retired from spouting out phrases like “you got it dude” and ” You’re in big trouble, mister!” for quite some time now.
Friends, family, blog world, I am sad to announce that my fellow cooworker, Robin McNicoll has decided to leave me. WHAT?! NO! HOW? BUT I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE INSEPARABLE!
So did I, I had even built a cottage in muskoka for us to blog in and grow old together. But alas, her love for me has hardened like a chocolaty shell over a soft vanilla ball from dairy queen. A brick of chedder cheese that wasn’t re-wrapped properly, so the end of it is dark and inedible. Dark like my very soul at this very moment. ROBIN DONT GO! DONT LEAVE ME! Who am I to laugh with, raise a child with, and most importantly, ride a ferry with. oh how you loved slow boats.
I leave you with a song that I feel sums up our relationship. There have been ups and downs, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried. mostly cried, but by god you are my hero. You are the wind beneath my wings.
Farewell sweet friend.