Archive for May 2010
So fake bangs are apparently the new fad. But I prefer fake mustaches…there’s something so mysterious about them. I feel like a man with a fake mustachio would be a far better detective than a girl with fake bangers.
What’s better in your opinon?
Here are horoscopes for this fine frenzy of a friday
Aries: Don’t believe what you heard about mexican hat dancers. They work hard for their money so you better treat them right.
Libra: Don’t believe what you heard about graphic designers. They work hard for their money so you better treat them right.
Taurus: Potato pancakes should not be eaten while dancing today. Shreds of potato could get caught in unwanted areas.
Scorpio: Brush your teeth. I mean right now, go brush your teeth your breath smells like fried chicken and barley.
Gemini: Your feet are really dry. Go moisturize and use an spf 15 moisturizer, it’s hot out! Feet need protection too.
Cancer: Butter or margarine today that is the question. The answer is butter. But make sure to switch to unsalted, the salted contains little midget ants.
Leo: Bravery is not only for firefighters. Bravery is eating an undercooked piece of chicken.
Virgo: Some of our favourite people are virgos and if you are reading this, then congrats you aren’t one of the few that we hate like Regis Philbin and Mickey Mouse
Libra: funny thing about regis philbin, he grew up in a tree.
Sagitarius: Sagitarius comes from the word “planitarium”, which is short for “bagel”. so Id advise staying away from bagels for the rest of your life…it would be like eating your own kin.
Capricorn: If you ever get swept away to a far off land by a tornado, dont trust the tin man. he’s actually a perv.
Aquarius: You will find todays winning lottery numbers in this creepy song
Pisces: use this weekend to choreograph a fun little number to show your peers. if they give you funny looks, tell them to come talk to us, we’ll set them straight, and we’ll also encourage them to subscribe to this blog! thanks for your commitment to our cause Pisces. Together we will change the world.
As if you didn’t know all this fun stuff!!! May 28th is the bomb baby!
1- 58 years ago today the women of greece were given the right to vote. Soon after the spice girls were born and the rest is history.
2- 65 years ago today Hunter “Patch” Adams was born. Remember the movie with Robin Williams and the lady who liked to swim in noodles? Ya he was a good guy. The bomb!
4- I’m feeling a little bubbly today…must be all this bloggin…NOPE…actually it’s American singer-songwriter Colbie Caillat’s 25 birthday today.
5-Gary Coleman died today. Like today, 2010 WHAT? I actually just found that out, I feel bad for saying this day is the bomb
If you don’t know..now your know.
1- 113 years ago today. Dracula was first published by author Bram Stoker.
2- It’s Tina Fey’s birthday, she turns the big 4-0 this year. Hoopla!
3- Today is international museum day. So go to the ROM and look at some cool dinosaur eggs
4- In 1910 the earth passed the tail of Comet Halley. I wonder if it hurt…
Alright Alright. So the second autobiography I chose to read is Steve Martin’s titled Born Standing Up.
It was alright, alright. Not as hilarious as I suspected. All in all, I think Hulk Holgan would win in a cage fight against Steve Martin…based purely on their autobiography writing skills.
That being said..here is 5 random things you didn’t know about Steve Martin
1– Steve’s first job was at disneyland selling guidebooks on weekends and full-time during the summer school break. He was like 12 or something..I don’t remember and I’ve already returned the book to the library.
2– Steve had a love affair with Dolly Parton, they bonded through a love of cherry tomatoes.
3-While attending college, Steve appeared in an episode of The Dating Game
4– Steve is a super fantastic magician, bango player and he suffers from ridiculous panic attacks that at one point in his life made him think he was dying.
5– Steve has a tattoo of an upside-down calculator on his left bicep. He got it when he got to too drunk to study for his math final in high school.
2 of these are false. Can you guess which one? If you can’t you should just read the book