Design Chick's Blogaboo!

Posts Tagged ‘best horoscopes ever


Ohhh girl, here’s Tuesdays Horoscopes!

Aries: A tuba player wants you to believe there is something in his tuba, this is the oldest trick in the book for a tuba player..Do not fall for it….there is nothing special in the tuba besides saliva and air.

Libra: Take a leap of faith today. Try a bright coloured pant.

Taurus: Your foot will smell like a dirty sausage if you wear shoes without socks or if you rub dirty sausages on them

Scorpio: If you recently read that bacon grease makes a great conditioner make sure not to use it today you will get attacked by bears and this guy.

Gemini: If you have an inkling to watch an old episode of full house, try season 3 episode 6. The morals will guide you through life and beyond.

Cancer: You will eat a large amount of cheese today. Also do not put lemon in your tea with milk, the milk will curdle and that kind of cheese is super gross.

Leo: Make it a Hasbro Game Night!

Virgo: Today is a good day to talk to an old friend (specifically between the ages of 60-75)

Sagittarius: your sign comes from the word ‘Sagitarium’ which is the latin word for “gassy”. stay away from beans today.

Capricorn: DONT EAT THE LUNCH YOU PACKED TODAY! IT WILL EXPLODE. And it will be captured on film, and edited really poorly.

Aquarius: Watch Glee tonight at 9 on FOX! If you don’t, you will pay the consequences

Pisces: If crossing a bridge today, you will be stopped by a leprechaun. He will ask you his questions three. The answers to these questions (in no particular order) are: “Star Wars Episode III”, “Baked not broiled”, and “I can’t believe its not butter”. God speed my friend, god speed.


What's your email? Give it to us. You won't be disappointed.

Join 44 other followers

Categories