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Posts Tagged ‘funny

Aries: did you know that thursdays are international “give a hooker a sandwich” day? So give that special hooker down your street a PB & J or a ham and swiss on whole wheat and she may give you something in return! A free movie coupon, obviously.

Libra: your chi-light is pretty low these days. cleaning out your fridge with mr. clean should fix this problem right up.

Taurus: life is pretty dull for you right now. add some auto-tune to your daily routine and reap the benefits of booty shakin’ rhythm and thousands of hits on youtube

Scorpio: summer is almost over and you STILL haven’t set up a lemonade stand?!! get on that girl.

Gemini: saying yes to a thumb war today is the right decision

Cancer: frodo once said, “I wish the ring had never come to me”. well, some unwanted things may come into your life that you must rise above. and if you’re a little person like frodo, you may need a step stool to do this.

Leo: You will feel like you are being followed today.  It’s just your shadow…and your neighbour Jim.  Didn’t know you had a neighbour Jim?  Turn around and introduce yourself!

Virgo: Mate your kitten with a tiger today.  You will get a hybrid kitten called a titten.

Sagittarius: Are you sad today?  Watch this video and you will be happy.

Capricorn: Half of your body wants corn today. The other half will reject the corn if you eat it. Make your decision wisely.

Aquarius: You will have a spectacular day if you are wearing a yellow shirt or if you have recently moved offices. You will also get an unexpected phone call today.

Pisces: Feel like being anti-social tonight? Have the perfect night in! Rent Harry and the Hendersons and watch it in the nude!

You better be-weave it!

Well, we fell in love with Old Spice not too long ago.  These commercials always make me giggle.  Here’s the latest!

OH man and i just found this one.  It’s pretty great too.

this made me lol

Aries: The weather is perfect for jumping on a large trampoline. try impressing your friends with a summersault or a slam dunk?

Libra: its time to pull out those overalls from your closet. maybe your one purpose in life was to bring back the 90’s. bring it back Libra. bring it back with vigor.

Taurus: If you play this song backwards, you will find the meaning of life.

Scorpio: when you travel to space this summer, make sure you join an aerobics class.

Gemini: You will wear a shirt today that will accentuate your nipples.

Cancer: Try something new today. like wearing your left shoe on your right foot. it will feel liberating, and will eventually give you the confidence to start your own business.

Leo: everybody knows the old question “how do you get the caramel in the caramilk bar?”. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe there are more important things in the world? wake up leo. wake up.

Virgo: stop watching the same ‘ol youtube videos. Its time to broaden your horizons.

Libra: The rodents in your neighborhood are rabid do not develop a relationship with them.

Sagitarius: Today you will not go swimming.  If you decide it’s a good idea to go swimming, think again. A child or elderly woman will blow chunks in the pool and it will have to be evacuated.

If you host a murder mystery party make sure to talk in a scottish accent it will throw off all of your competitors and you might just get away with murder (the fake kind for the game…not real murder..we don’t encourage that)

Drink lots of water today.  Remember to urinate though or your internal organs may drown in the vast amount of water that you drank.

Pisces: If you go exploring in a random forest today make sure to wear pants and shoes.  If not you might get bitten by bugs in inappropriate places..or you might get arrested.

Conan O’brien (before he quit the tonight show) being interviewed by Zach Galifiankis.  So awkward.  So great.  See more with Zach at

My childhood was filled with candy, friends, puppets, sports and mostly egghead videos.  Seriously if you’ve never done an egghead video it’s not too late.

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