Posts Tagged ‘leonardo dicaprio’
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I know what you are thinking. Why the heck haven’t you done this before? I don’t have an answer for that, so just relax. We are doing it now and if you’re lucky we will do it again next year. There is so much Oscar buzz out there right now I can hardly contain myself. Just kidding, most of it is stupid and boring. So we’ve decided to create this super unboring and unstupid Oscar Preview. FINALLY RIGHT?! You are welcome!
Best sound editing: Obviously goes to whoever made this video (he MUST be nominated, we would be shocked if he wasn’t)
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Rob Ford – His leading role as Mayor of Toronto has definitely been a performance to talk about! But what has really impressed the Academy is the physical transformation he went through to look the part. Here’s a before and after picture of him.
Documentary Feature: This documentary about a goat eating dinner wins for so many reasons; mainly because it really, really makes you think.
Biggest Oscar Snub: Smurfs 2. We know why this didn’t get nominated. Bottom line: the Academy is filled with a bunch of racists.
Most shocking nomination: Dallas Buyers Club. Why? We know it’s a great movie. It’s just the Academy is usually very snobby when it comes to nominating sequels. I mean, hello, Smurfs 2 wasn’t nominated. So we were just surprised that the sequel to Ghosts of Girlfriends Past was.
Best picture: Again an obvious winner here … This picture of a squirrel waiting for a bus! 
Most likely to have a nip-slip: Ellen DeGeneres
Most likely to get really thin before Oscars and then gain the weight back before the end of the night: Jonah Hill
Most like to storm the stage and pull a Kanyé West: Tom Hanks – seriously, that guy is a ticking time bomb.
Most likely to be dealing out Quaaludes on the red carpet: Leonardo Dicaprio
Most likely to buy Quaaludes from Leonardo Dicaprio on the red carpet: June Squibb
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Put your 3D glasses on, this post is about to get MULTI-DIMENSIONAL!
I know what your thinking, how can a simple blog post be 3D? thats ridiculous. Um hello, I’m pretty sure these words are popping out of the screen as we speak, sucks you can’t see it, it’s mad cool.
Someone who also masters 3D almost as good as us is James Cameron. And he’s probably the only person we know who can release a blockbuster hit a second time with 3D in the title and run away with millions! well probably zooming away on a segway, cause thats how nerds with too much money travel.
That brings us to our newest review – TITANIC THREEEEE DEEEEEE! Yes, Leo still dies in the end *spoiler alert*, No Kate Winslets boobs do not look any bigger, and yes, obviously there is a twist ending (the ship is invaded by a mexican gang). As different and exciting all of this was, it was still a great movie, brought me back to the days of being an awkward grade sevener and wishing Leo would be my boyfriend…things havent changed much. I give this movie 5 ritas riding a segwey out of 5!
what did you think Robin??
Woah chestnut! Hold your horses! 5 Ritas? Are you mad? Have you completely lost your mind?
SHITTY MOVIE STRAIGHT AHEAD!
When I was in grade 8 (ya I’m older than Laura…wiser too and more accurate with movie reviews and horoscopes) I didn’t really get the hype of Titanic. I mean I had posters of Leo on my wall….I thought he was hot and all but I mean, did you see Good Will Hunting? If you didn’t it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. I just realized that if you haven’t seen Good Will Hunting, you wouldn’t get what that’s all about. So go to your local Jumbo Video and rent it, grab some free popcorn while you’re at it. GWH is much better than Titanic, and it was released in the same year. ***Spoiler alert Matt Damon doesn’t die but he does take his shirt off.** Okay back to reviewing Titanic. Why is Rose so fat? Just kidding. But seriously Kate stop eating cheeseburgers…3d cameras add 3 times the weight. Oh hush, hush. I’m just kidding people. So the overall this movie was just as good if not better than Final Destination….Titanic in 3D was just as good if not better than The Final Destination…(that’s the one that’s in 3d). It is really too bad that Devon Sawa wasn’t there to predict the iceberg and save them all, only to have them all die in the by random crazy events. That would have made a great movie. I would have given that 4 rita’s or 5 if it was in 3d. But it didn’t happen…so I’m going to give this movie 2 Rita’s on a boat with Devon Sawa and 1 George Bush eating a cat out of 5. How do you like D’em Apples. (Another great quote from Good Will Hunting…you should see it!)
Shutter Island Review!!
Posted on: August 17, 2010
I know we haven’t done a Rita Rating in a while and I have a good reason for that. After seeing this movie, I couldn’t figure out if my life was real or if I was a crazy person on an island. So for the last few weeks I have been asking people…”Am I a crazy person living on an island?” Instead of getting a straight answer from anyone…I just had people looking at me like I had 16 heads (not very reassuring).
Anyways, the point is this movie is pretty great. So great in fact that it made me question my own sanity. Leonardo Dicaprio does a stellar job portraying Teddy Daniels who is investigating the disappearance of a patient from Boston‘s Shutter Island Ashecliffe Hospital. There’s about 42 twists and turns in this movie and I’m not going to reveal any of them. You need to watch this movie. Get up. Get your pants on and drive to the movie store. Pick up Shutter Island and some Junior Mints. Drive over here, drop off the junior mints and then go home and watch the movie.
I give Shutter Island 4 Rita’s in a high fashion leather straight jacket and 1 Ann Murray album cover (this counts as a half..because Anne doesn’t have the same street cred as Rita) Total 4.5 out of 5.
Laura what did you think?
Well Robin, you completely missed the mark with this one. As usual. The movie isn’t just “pretty great”. Its amazing. So amazing that I’m not even upset that Leo dies at the end. *spoiler alert*. just like in Inception *spoiler alert*. Nevertheless, this movie blew my mind. And for all of you who saw it and said that you knew the ending the whole time because you are super smart – you’re full of poo or you just didn’t get it. If you haven’t seen it yet, do what Robin says and get your pants or your fundies on, and rent this movie immediately. don’t you wanna know how leo dies?
I give this movie FIVE “leonardo dicaprio making out with rita” ritas out of FIVE
Today in history
Posted on: April 14, 2010
98 years ago today the Titanic sunk. On this ship a poor artist named Jack Dawson and a rich girl Rose DeWitt Bukator fall in love, until one night, their fairytale love for one another turns into a struggle for survival on a ship about to founder to the bottom of the North Atlantic.
Yes 98 years ago today an iceberg caused the unsinkable ship to sink. To all those lost on the titanic, in all seriousness, my heart will go on.
