I know what you are thinking.  Why the heck haven’t you done this before?  I don’t have an answer for that, so just relax.  We are doing it now and if you’re lucky we will do it again next year.  There is so much Oscar buzz out there right now I can hardly contain myself.  Just kidding, most of it is stupid and boring.  So we’ve decided to create this super unboring and unstupid Oscar Preview.  FINALLY RIGHT?! You are welcome!

Best sound editing: Obviously goes to whoever made this video (he MUST be nominated, we would be shocked if he wasn’t)

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Rob Ford – His leading role as Mayor of Toronto has definitely been a performance to talk about! But what has really impressed the Academy is the physical transformation he went through to look the part.  Here’s a before and after picture of him.

Documentary Feature: This documentary about a goat eating dinner wins for so many reasons;  mainly because it really, really makes you think.

Biggest Oscar Snub: Smurfs 2.  We know why this didn’t get nominated. Bottom line: the Academy is filled with a bunch of racists.

Most shocking nomination: Dallas Buyers Club.  Why?  We know it’s a great movie.  It’s just the Academy is usually very snobby when it comes to nominating sequels.  I mean, hello, Smurfs 2 wasn’t nominated.  So we were just surprised that the sequel to Ghosts of Girlfriends Past was.

Best picture:  Again an obvious winner here … This picture of a squirrel waiting for a bus!

Most likely to have a nip-slip:  Ellen DeGeneres

Most likely to get really thin before Oscars and then gain the weight back before the end of the night: Jonah Hill

Most like to storm the stage and pull a Kanyé West:  Tom Hanks – seriously, that guy is a ticking time bomb.

Most likely to be dealing out Quaaludes on the red carpet:  Leonardo Dicaprio

Most likely to buy Quaaludes from Leonardo Dicaprio on the red carpet:  June Squibb