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Posts Tagged ‘Toronto


At 9:45 this morning, a loud scream echoed through the windows of a TD bank at yonge and finch. Immediately following this disturbance, bystanders claim to have seen a large brown-haired figure, with a pink shirt and bulging purple backpack, bolt from the entrance. She has been identified as Dora Alejandrina Blanca Marquez. Formerly known by her screen name, Dora The Explorer. She was quickly detained after being spotted a few blocks from the bank, asking viewers at home to help her find ways to reach places with the help of her Map. Rookie mistake. Police have discovered that robbery is just part of a long list of felonies – drug trafficking, spousal abuse, and identity theft – to name a few. She is currently being held in custody at Pearson airport awaiting deportation to spain, where she will be tried as an adult – amongst the records of her colourful past, officals have discovered that Marquez is in fact a 45-year old midget hiding as an 8-year old girl. They believe she drew inspiration from the movie The Orphan.


Okay people.  Big news.  This is our 300th post.  Can you believe it?  We can’t. We were planning on posting our exclusive interview with Chuck Noris for our 300th post, unfortunately during the interview we asked him to demonstrate how to do a light  round-house kick.  We should have known better, he doesn’t know how to do anything light.  He kicked Laura in the grill and she forgot everything.  Even that she was married to Channing Tatum…but more importantly she forgot our password to log into our blog.  Anyways, Channing and Laura are doing fine…they’re actually just falling in love all over again.

Anyways, we are posting theses horoscope for future you. 300 year old you.  We know what you are thinking….I only know 3-4 people that have ever lived to 300!  Well we know for a fact (don’t forget we are licensed psychics legit fo’ real) that if you read this blog on a tri-daily basis you will live 3 times as long. Plus advances in modern medicine will tack on another 60-90 days/years.

Aries: 0011001001111100101010010011.  In the future you will know what this means.  Can’t wait?  We know…Aries’ are terribly impatient.  It says:  Stop painting with oils.  You are really bad at it.  (good thing you read this now…you could have wasted over 200 years)

Libra: Salmonella is no longer harmful to your body!  You have developed enough antibodies in the past few hundred years that you can now eat an entire chicken without even killing it.   Oh shoot…we are just kidding…hold your horses Libra.  We just wanted to test your gullibility…clearly still in tact.  Spit that chicken out fool!

Taurus:  You will have to take care of a sick friend today.  He/She may have gotten salmonella poisoning.

Scorpio: Your friend will try to convince you that you have salmonella poisoning only so they can swoop in and eat your yummy leftovers. don’t let this happen!! it is imperative you eat that day old mac n cheese. It’s good luck, but only if you wear a sock on your left hand while you chew thrice and swallow.

Gemini: I think its time to ride a Big Wheel. it will really accentuate your jawline.

Cancer: We read your career stars and it’s looking great! This month try getting into something that requires less talent. like zero. in fact, you better apply for Unemployment Insurance.

Leo:  You need to get some exercise.  Go for a swog.  You know a swim jog.  Yes you can jog on water in the future.  It burns 30% more calories than a swalking.

Virgo: your Y zone is palpitating and sending out pink and blue rays – this obviously shows that you are eating way too much fiber before swimming in your nearest public pool.

Sagittarius: You must dial this number: (416) 368-2937. This is Nicholas Cage’s Toronto Number. He is waiting for you.

Capricorn: Capricorn, we know you have always been jealous of peppercorn the delightful spice added to such certain dressings as ranch or creamy ranch or triple bacon ranch.  Well don’t fret, in the future capricorn will also be a spice, added to more conservative dressings like Italian and zesty Italian.

Aquarius: Kleenex spelled backwards is xeneelk. This is the name of the city you will live in, in the future. A city made entirely out of used tissues. Oh what a sight it will be!

Pisces: You need to slow down P dawg. Not everyone can keep up with your get-up-and-go attitude. It’s really offputting. So are those socks. Salmon? really? gross.

Ophiuchus:  You still don’t exist. Stop kidding yourself.  Look down.  Do you have a bellybutton?  Didn’t think so.  Proof..you don’t exist.


I would just like to say that Laura and I are mute and can only speak through blogging, so this does not represent us in the least.  Still funny though.  Watch episode 1 & 2 of Shit Girls Say below.


We were featured on design edge!  What what!

Unfortunately they cut the part about how Laura and I are the bread and butter of the magazine…but that’s okay.  It’s still pretty cool anyways.  Check out the article here!


We are designers and we design stuff.  Right Laura?

Right Robin.

The original point of this blog was to promote cool design stuff that we came across.  We then realized that we are really funny and awesome and we wrote about alot more stuff.  Anyways, to get back to our roots (don’t worry we’ll still post other awesome stuff) here is a cool video you should watch about a pretty disgusting but awesome billboard that WB came out with to promote their new movie Contagion.

Also, on a side note here’s a cool contagion contest you can enter.


Do you love music?  Do you love not being naked?  Well, we’ve got the website for you!

The staff at Guataca Music Wear are hardcore music fans and believe that nothing says ‘rock and roll’ like the emblematic black band t-shirt.  Created by world class designers these t-shirts are being brought to you as a part of a movement to help ensure children across the country have access to music programs at school.

Guataca wha?  What does guataca mean?  Guataca is Venezuelan slang. The word is used to describe musicians who have the ability to “play by ear.” If you have Guataca, making music is something that will come naturally.

When you purchase a Guataca Music Wear tee, a portion of the proceeds is donated directly to MusiCounts, a Canadian music education charity. MusiCounts’ mission is to insist that all Canadian children, regardless of cultural background or socio-economic circumstances have access to a comprehensive music program through their school.

Check out Guataca Music Wear today and support a kid who wants to play the guitar or the drums or flute or saxaphone or harp or banjo or xylophone or trumpet or the weird kid who just likes to snap.  Don’t be this guy, be cool and buy a t-shirt.


Sometimes people leave our office for really random reasons.  Today one of our sales guys left to release trout into the water…strange.  Somehow they can always relate it to work…because news is news and people like to read about weird things.  So today our editorial girls are going to check out the worlds largest burger.  Yup, Ted Reader (who actually used to write for us too) is making the Worlds biggest burger today in Toronto. Cooking began around 4am and final plating will be between  Noon & 1:30pm.

If you are feeling peckish and feel like mowing down on some gigantic beefy goodness go to Younge and Dundas and check it out!

Proceeds from the event will be donated to Chef Ted Reader’s charity of choice, Camp Bucko; a charity/camp for children who are burn survivors.

To learn more click here


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