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Posts Tagged ‘Alfred

Two years ago we wrote an amazing Gift Guide.  We got such rave reviews that we decided not to bring it back last year just to keep everyone on their toes. Check out our old gift guide here, but if you want to be super hip and in-the-now, read on to our new and fresh Best Gift Guide EVER!

We believe that any one of your family members or friends will fit into one of the categories below.  Trust us, we literally know everything.

Buying for someone who wants to move things with his/her mind?
Clearly this is a gift for everybody, because for realzies, who wouldn’t want to move things with their mind?  This is a game that you play with simply  the power of your mind.  Not sure if you will be able to play it though, since we have already BLOWN your mind.  Boom. Head explosion.  To purchase, click here.

Move things with your mind

Move things with your mind!! Look how cool this guy looks! You can be this cool too!

Buying for someone who recently lost everything they own in a terrible house fire? Isn’t it just awful when someone loses all of their possessions in a house fire?  It’s sad and it’s happening more and more due to how great scented candles smell nowadays, nobody wants to ever blow them out!  I blame Martha.  Anyways, the only gift that could possibly replace all of the memorabilia that has been burnt to a crisp, is this book of awkward family photos.  They will be laughing so hard they won’t even realize it’s not their own family.  Check it out here!

Memories all gone? No problem, just replace them with other peoples awkward memories!

Memories all gone? No problem, just replace them with other peoples awkward memories!

Buying for someone who just detests spoons?
Do you know someone who suffers from Spoons phobia? Yes, it is a real thing and it is affecting more and more young people everyday.  You can make a spoon phobic persons dreams come true with this self stirring coffee mug!  Hoopla!  No more will they have to go without their coffee being stirred! No more pesky sugar buildup at the bottom of their cup.  You will be their hero, we guarantee it.  Check it out here!

Buy your crazy friend a mug or don't be friends with people who are scared of spoons, you choose!

Buy your crazy friend a mug or don’t be friends with people who are scared of spoons, you choose!

Buying for someone who always looks like they may have just touched their genitals?
Most of our friends fall into this category so we will be buying this product in bulk this year.  From the maker of “Bitch Slap those germs – Hand Sanitizer” comes the newest “Maybe you just touched your genitals – Hand Sanitizer”.  Check it out here!

Don't de-friend your perv friends, just buy them some hand sanitizer!

Don’t de-friend your perv friends, just buy them some hand sanitizer!

Buying for a teacher who has really, really dumb students? We are all well-aware of how ridiculously stupid children these days can be.  We aren’t being mean, we just know facts.  Not all kids (Robin‘s are smart and Laura’s future children will be too) but let’s face it most are really, really dumb, fo’ real.  So we feel for the teachers out there who have to mark their school work.  They spend countless hours trying to explain to their students why their work is stupid and makes no sense.  Well we want to make their lives easier.  One stamp that says it all: “WTF”.  Check it out here.

kids are dumb, fo' real.

kids are dumb, fo’ real.

Buying for a germaphobe whose day-to-day life makes  it impossible for them not to use a public washroom?
We all know people like this! Heck even if they aren’t a germaphobe, most people will appreciate this Public toilet survival kit.

toilets be stinky.

toilets be stinky.

Buying for a klutzy person who enjoys insulting people like Shakespeare?

Three words: Shakespearean Insult Bandages. We know what your thinking, “I hope they have enough of these in stock, my entire social circle falls into this category!”  We know right?!  Clearly these bandages were created because there was a high demand for them.  We’ve contacted the supplier to ensure they have plenty.  Act quickly though!  Order now, you never know how long these will last!  Check them out here.

thou unmuzzled  rump-fed foot-licker will love this gift!

thou unmuzzled rump-fed foot-licker will love this gift!

Buying for someone who hates wearing footwear?
Most people don’t know this but people who don’t like to wear footwear actually have a disorder called melikeythefeelingofgrassundermyfeet. The symptoms include liking the feeling of grass under their feet.  We know that most offices and public places make their employees wear some kind of footwear.  That’s why this will be the perfect gift for your weird friend/mother who hates wearing shoes.  Check these bad boys out!

who needs no shoes now!

who needs no shoes now!

Buying for someone who likes to tell the time, is a fashion diva and also loves Mr. Bean?
Thought this was going to be a tricky person to buy for, right?  Well don’t worry, we’ve found the perfect gift!  This Mr. Bean loving fashionista will never be late again thanks to this very trendy wrist watch!

you are welcome!

you are welcome!

Buying for a fashion-forward teen/tween/adult or senior citizen or a farmer with a large wallet?

This lovely handbag is made from the extremely fashionable fabric: rubber. I actually just saw Taylor Swift carrying this around after the Victoria Secret Fashion show, no lie, that’s how trendy this thing is!  Buy one today, before it’s gone forever (or you have to buy it used on E-Bay).

Put your junk in this hens trunk.

Put your junk in this hens trunk.

Buying for a child who you can totally tell is going to be crazy a crazy cat lady one day?

More and more children are aspiring to be crazy cat ladies these days, due to hit TV shows like hoarders.  Well, we don’t like to stand in the way of any child’s dreams! Neither should you!  Help that special kid live up to their crazy cat potential with this crazy cat lady practice kit.  A crazy cat lady action figure, complete with a bunch of crazy cats.

kids these days be so crazy.

kids these days be so crazy.

Buying for someone who likes Bananas, especially sliced ones?This life changing device will change the lives of banana lovers forever.  Seriously read the reviews here.  Seriously read them, all 4,585 of them.  They are really, really funny.

cuts like warm butta

cuts like warm butta

Buying for someone who idolizes us design chicks?
You may or may not know that Laura & I are proud Canadians.  We look and talk like lumberjacks and we smell like maple syrup.  Most people want to be just like us. We have a lot of fans all over the world.  We get emails on a daily basis from as far as Argentina, Tokyo and Madrid. The main thing our fans ask us is, how can we be more like you guys?  Well, here’s a start!  Look and feel like a Canadian with this “look and feel like a Canadian spray“.  Mmm mmm.

Be like us!

Be like us!

Okay so after our Halloween costume post we have been getting about 67,000 emails a day requesting we do a Holiday gift idea post.  I know what you are thinking.  Oh my Gaaaaaaawd it’s 10 days before christmas and I don’t know what the frick to get Uncle Ted or Aunt Felicia or cousin Alfred.  Especially cousin Alfred.  That guy is Craaaaaazy. Well we’ve put together a list that has something for everyone (even Alfie).

Buying for a music lover?  Buying for someone that wants to keep music alive, well into the future?  Are you not buying for Chad Kroeger…lead noise maker of Nickelback?  Well we’ve got the perfect gift for you.  What is cooler than the classic Black band T?  I know.  The classic black band T that donates part of it’s money to help ensure children across the country have access to music programs at school.   That’s cooler.  Check out Guataca to order one today!

Buying for a Trekkie?  Ya we all have at least one person in our family that loves Star Trek.  My sister is one of those crazy hooligans.  She even got her ears genetically modified to look like a vulcan.  Just kidding, but I’ve probably just given her a horrible idea.  Jen don’t do this.  Why not learn to cook like a vulcan instead.  Get your Trekkie freak family member a Star Trek Cookbook. 

Buying for a Bacon Lover?  No?  Then you are clearly buying for a Cupcake Lover!  Pretty much anyone can fit into one of these two categories.  What’s a better gift than something you will 2-3 times every single day??!   Nothing I tell ya!  Bacon or cupcake flavoured toothpaste will make anyone’s holidays seem like a miracle on [insert street name here].

Buying for a stinky car person who loves Kraft Dinner?  Who isn’t!  Why not switch that smelly sock box into a delicious Kraft Dinner-mobile.  That’s right, its a mac & cheese scented air freshener. 

Buying for a fan of yodeling or pickles?  Again, I know…doesn’t everyone fall into this category?  Bet you didn’t know you can actually buy a yodeling pickle!  Thank gawd for us design chicks.  Local/international heroes. 

Buying for someone who never wants to do anything ever?  Well clearly this person is going to run out of excuses not to do anything.  What’s better than the instant excuse maker!?  Also, on a side not you should probably break ties with this person.  People who don’t like to do anything are usually pretty toxic and or boring.

Buying for someone who is too busy to be hygienic?  Two words. Pocket.  Shower. Wha?  I know right!  I’m a pretty busy woman believe me… I  haven’t showered in weeks and I smell like a bed of roses (without any dead rats hidden in the sheets).  My secret?  Pocket Shower!

Buying for that crazy drunk in your family.  Hint hint* This one’s for me!  Just kidding.  But seriously this is pretty cool.  A hangover cookbook.  Wha? Yes, I said it, a cookbook for hangovers.  Sounds ahhhmuzzing!

Buying for a girl who wants to pee like a guy?  Enough said.  Female urination device.

Okay I think that just about covers everyone.  You are welcome! Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!  Peace in the middle east!

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