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Posts Tagged ‘pants


Aries: you will feel gassy today. too bad you’re going dancing. If the crowd disperses around you as you disperse your bodily gas, turn it into a positive – did someone say spontaneous dance circle?!! go aries! go aries! go go, go aries!

Libra: You wernt allowed to watch the simpsons growing up, were you? that explains a lot. You have many anxieties, one being racism towards yellow people. this is unhealthy and hilarious.

Taurus: embrace your faults. except for your complete lack of hygene, its not very becoming of you

Scorpio: You learn something new everyday today you are going to learn that Jonah Hill (that crazy fat funny guy) is now really creepy skinny.  Check it out!

Gemini: remember that alanis song about joey from full house. “YOU OUGHTA KNOW, YOUU YOUUU YOUUU YOUUU YOUUU YOUUU”. I dont know what her problem was, didnt she know that it was never gunna work? he lived in san fran and was trying to make it as a comedian. plus he had to babysit the goblin twins. what a needy bitch. anyways the point is, stop being so needy!

Cancer: TGIF, right? WRONG. get back to work cancer! that marshmellow castle wont make itself

Leo:  Leo, we know you like to party…we get it.  Put your pants back on it’s like 3 in the afternoon, wait till 3am when this is appropriate.

Virgo: Refrain from going on a hot rod diet today you will gain 17 pounds of pure greasy butter.

Sagittarius:  Try a unique gum flavour today.   I suggest Vanilla and Mint. You might think it’s crazy but your tongue and teeth will thank you for it.

Capricorn: Nobody loves you.  Except us, so you should probably keep reading our blog. Plus we are really honest and will tell you when you are having a bad hair day.  Let’s call a spade a spade – it’s been a bad hair month for you.

Pisces: The Hanson brothers are playing in your neighborhood soon.  Not sure if Ike and Taylor or Zach are going to be there but they are brothers and their last names are Hanson or maybe Jonas.

Ophiuchus: You will poop your pants today. If not consider gripe water it helps with constipation.


Holy Smokes!! What the crunk!?  We just landed ourselves another celebrity inteview. What the grill!  Our latest interview is with the great Canadian crunk band Sans Serif.  The band consists of these crazy cats: Stu Ron Hubbard, Peter Chipman, Stephanie Gora, Jason Meisner, Jeremy Toma, Jack Dalziel & Rachel Wise.  If you don’t know Sans Serif, you probably don’t even know what colour pants your wore yesterday or maybe you didn’t even wear pants.  Seriously you should know this band.  Your life will probably change just by listening to their music. Before I started listening to Sans Serif I seriously hated roasted peppers…now they are a regular part of my daily diet. I am absolutely certain that I have Sans Serif to thank for my new found love of roasted peppers.  Check them out here grab a plate of vegetables you think you hate and read our interview.

1) What is your favourite 90’s sitcom?
I would definitely have to go with newsradio. even the last season without phil hartman is really good (especially since jon lovitz had already played something like 2 different characters on the show). and somehow andy dick is really funny in it. plus maura tierney’s kind of a babe.

2) Do you own any music by Rita MacNeil?
No. but we do have a copy of the barbara striesand album ‘superman’ up on our wall: http://www.allmusic.com/album/streisand-superman-r26528

3) Do you have any nicknames?
Sometimes we refer to jeremy as jerome. other times we just call him a jerk. actually, he’s alright (though not single… sorry ladies).

4) Do you have a favourite youtube video?  If so, what?
Recently i’ve been watching celebrity autobiography on youtube. it’s where comedians read excerpts from quintessential celebrity autobiographies.  here’s one featuring the early poems of suzanne somers

5) Do you have a favorite hat? If so please describe or send us a photo of you wearing said hat.
Sometimes peter wears a robot hat. well really it’s more like a mask/helmet. we really haven’t gotten past robots yet. we totally missed the whole vampire thing, and now we’re way behind this zombie craze.  maybe we can catch up in time for the next fad. i’m crossing my fingers it will have something to do with tony danza.

6) Do you have any hidden talents? If so, please describe, or send us a
video of you demonstrating said talent.
I don’t know about hidden talents, but here are some sans serif secrets (all completely true): steph sings better after eating salt and vinegar chips; jason has taken boudoir photographs of himself (he may be sprawled on top of a fish tank); jack thinks everything went downhill after the blue jays won the world series in 1993; rachel’s cat hasn’t learnt to play fight yet, so i get cuts all over my hands.

I’m pretty sure this band is my band sibling from another mother.  Thanks for the response guys!!


Big news, Laura and I both saw the same movie again! I think we might even agree on this one too.  I liked it and if Laura says she doesn’t like it in her review it’s just because she’s trying to be difficult.  Laura is the bad cop, the Ebert if you will.  Anyways, I’ve been using facebook for a few years now so I assumed that the movie was actually based on me.  I mean I have like 478 friends and counting on facebook so I’m pretty popular.  So of course, I was dying to see who would play myself in this documentary of my life so I rushed out to see the movie.  I was let down, I mean big time.  The movie was not about me at all, but it was about the founders of facebook.  I left for half of the movie and cried to myself in the washroom then I shook off the disappointment and returned to the theater.  The movie was actually really great.  The banter back and forth between characters reminded me of Dawson’s Creek a bit…only this banter totally worked because they were people from Harvard and people from those parts are real smart. I give this movie 4 ritas with a poking stick out of 5. Laura what did you think?

Oh hey Robin! it’s great to be back at it, thanks for the kind words.  Let me just be real with yall for a second. If this movie requested my friendship on facebook I would accept it immediatly! If this movie were a facebook event I would click “attending” with a smily face, no jokes. No but seriously, if this movie was all “hey laura, hows it hangin” on my wall, I’d reply “oh not much, just chillin, bad boyz 4 life” because we’re tight like that. okay really now, if this movie was playing farmville I wouldnt make fun of it and call it a loser because it might kick my ass. In short, this movie really surpassed my expectations. I went into it a little sceptical. I mean really, I spend all day on facebook, do I really need to see a movie about it? apparently yes! I was pleasently suprised to find out that mark zukerberg is a nerd with balls! and thats what makes the story so appealing. revenge of the programming nerds! he may have lost his best friend and girlfriend in the process but who cares, he’s rich bitch! and pretty sure he’s dating some asian gold digger now anyways. now thats what I call a “happy ending” 😉

I give this movie 4 Facebook swag ritas out of 5!


I know we haven’t done a Rita Rating in a while and I have a good reason for that. After seeing this movie, I couldn’t figure out if my life was real or if I was a crazy person on an island. So for the last few weeks I have been asking people…”Am I a crazy person living on an island?” Instead of getting a straight answer from anyone…I just had people looking at me like I had 16 heads (not very reassuring).

Anyways, the point is this movie is pretty great. So great in fact that it made me question my own sanity. Leonardo Dicaprio does a stellar job portraying Teddy Daniels who is investigating the disappearance of a patient from Boston‘s Shutter Island Ashecliffe Hospital. There’s about 42 twists and turns in this movie and I’m not going to reveal any of them. You need to watch this movie. Get up. Get your pants on and drive to the movie store. Pick up Shutter Island and some Junior Mints. Drive over here, drop off the junior mints and then go home and watch the movie.

I give Shutter Island 4 Rita’s in a high fashion leather straight jacket and 1 Ann Murray album cover (this counts as a half..because Anne doesn’t have the same street cred as Rita) Total 4.5 out of 5.

Laura what did you think?

Well Robin, you completely missed the mark with this one. As usual. The movie isn’t just “pretty great”. Its amazing. So amazing that I’m not even upset that Leo dies at the end. *spoiler alert*. just like in Inception *spoiler alert*.  Nevertheless, this movie blew my mind. And for all of you who saw it and said that you knew the ending the whole time because you are super smart – you’re full of poo or you just didn’t get it. If you haven’t seen it yet, do what Robin says and get your pants or your fundies on, and rent this movie immediately. don’t you wanna know how leo dies?

I give this movie FIVE “leonardo dicaprio making out with rita” ritas out of FIVE


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