Today is probably one of the most important days of all time.

1. The first ikea store was opened in Slovakia. It was called Bi-way back then but it eventually changed to ikea because Bi-way sounds like ikea when said with a thick Slovakian accent.

2. Putridge Heslah changed his name to Brad Pitt. Yes the Brad Pitt…the one with all the children.

3. Buttered cinnamon bagels were invented today.

4. Those hand warmer things were invented today but they were originally invented to heat up cold burgers ‘on-the-go’.

5. Animal activist and ‘actress’ Pamela Anderson got really drunk today and had big juicy burger. She later tried to have plastic surgery to remove the burger from her body. The doctor suggested she poop.