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Posts Tagged ‘fire

Okay…listen up “Urban Noize”, first of all, I don’t appreciate your inclusion of a “Z” in a perfectly fine word just because it looks urban. Secondly, who the HELL do you think you ARE?! You think you can take three of the greatest artists of the 21st century and mix them in your basement, release it, and think people will eat it up? well they will, and those people are really really DUMB. You know what, I’m not mad at you Urban Noize, no, Im mad at the audience today, what they desire, what they have become. No appreciation for REAL music anymore, just Dubstep and reworked versions of music’s past. Urban Noize, even though you claim this is not an official release but rather a dedication to all three artists, it doesn’t get you off the hook. I see people on youtube who fart in front of their computer and get famous, this is NO different. You have just farted in front of me, Urban Noize, and the rest of society, and while I sit by and plug my nose, others are basking in its warmth. So bask everyone, but like a fart, Urban’s “Noize” will gradually fade, leaving it to REAL artists to clear the air. BOOYA!
How did you feel about the album, Robin?

Hey Laura. Are you feeling slightly bloated today?  Do you need to take a midol?  Don’t get your knickers in a knot.  Some people fart out blog posts.  Well most people don’t.  Laura just farted on the keyboard and that gawd awful post appeared.  Seriously Laura, the album (while not the best collaboration I’ve ever heard) is actually pretty good.  You just need to open your mind and close your fart hole.    I think if you listened to this album before you’d ever listened to anything by Adele, Kanye or Jay’d be like alright, alright, great album.  But as you said before these are 3 of the greatest artist of the 21st century, so it’s hard to not expect the most epic, mind blowing, panties on fire, best album ever.  I understand your panties are not on fire, but that doesn’t mean it’s not decent music.  Ya, that’s right, I called it music.   There is so much awful, ear aching music out there that when someone remixes something, from a song or album that is already amazing, it is obviously going to better than half of the crap you hear on the radio today.  I’m talking directly to you Chad Kroeger.  You are crap and you should cut your hair.  Hippie.  Hey Laura remember when we interviewed Chad Kroeger?  Read it here.

You can listen to the album here.  Then tell us what you think!

Our beloved Kurt Browing, four-time Canadian figure skating champion and four-time world champion is apparently still making headlines, and not because of his show stopping numbers and his nice booty. no, not this time. While attempting to dry out his wet car seat with a leaf blower (??!!!), the car burst into flames and quickly spread to the attic.  The fire then moved quickly through the house, causing the roof to completely cave in!. “I was just watching reruns of kurts “brick house” performance from the 95 rock n roll championship, when smoke started billowing in!!!” explained a disgruntled Sonia Rodriguez, wife and biggest fan of Browning. “everything is gone. nothing was salvaged” she wept.

We tried to talk to Browning about what the frack he was thinking but he just told us to leave him alone, and then he skated away.

Read more here!

So we frequent the Fortinos in downtown oakville.  Today was like any other day.  We walked to fortinos, chatted about our lives, the weather, our weekends.  Little did we know our lives were about to change forever.
As we approached Fortinos we noticed a strange noise coming from the building.  Some might say it sounded exactly like a fire alarm.  We decided that we really needed hummus so we continued on, ignoring the earth shattering noise.  We got to the top of the escalater and witnessed pure chaos.  Grown men in tears. Women were frantically running toward the exits.  Several small children were rolling around in flames.  Fortino’s was on fire and we were literally at the heart of it all.  Being the extreme bloggers that we are we decided even in the midst of the crazyness we had to capture the moment on camera.  We took this picture before being carried out by firemen and given CPR.

Thankful we are all okay.   It could have been a lot worse.  We all feel closer  because of it.  We’ve developed a bond that will never be broken.

Here are a few absolutely ridiculous warning labels:

On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.

Warning on fireplace log:
Caution — Risk of Fire.

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Warning on an electric router made for carpenters:
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

On a hair dryer:
Do not use in shower.

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Product will be hot after heating.

On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

for more ridiculous warning click here.

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