Posts Tagged ‘List of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing mobile weapons’
She’s Brittany B*tch!
Posted on: December 2, 2011
- In: Gossip | what's new!
- 2 Comments
If you don’t know anything at all you should atleast know one thing. Today is Brittany Spears’ 30th birthday. Makes me feel really old. I feel like I’ve known Britt for years. I’ve even seen her kooka. Let’s reflect shall we! Here’s a little timeline of her time in the spotlight. Way to go Brittany, your only regret in life should be dating Justin Timberlake before he got rid of his nasty perm. Regrets! We all have them.
Weekend Horoscopes!
Posted on: October 15, 2010
- In: horoscope | humour
- Leave a Comment
Aries: be adventurous this weekend. fill your neighbours hot tub with chili and hide behind a bush. laugh as they dip into it and wonder why the water is more delicious than usual. jump out from behind the bush and yell “fiesta!”
Libra: Change your name to Pedro and Run for mayor. The familiarity of the name and its association with the lovable movie “Napolean Dynamite” will appeal to a large population. Be sure too put on a fake accent for authenticity.
Taurus: you were adopted
Scorpio: You will get a facebook friend request today. accept and reap the benefits of online popularity! initiate conversation by a poke or an invitation to farmville.
Gemini: take a nap today in a public place. leave your hat beside you to collect change. use the change to purchase a key. this is the key to your happiness.
Cancer: no one puts on a show like Liza. watch and learn.
Leo: Enter a photoshop contest today. Can’t find one? Click here
Virgo: Dress up as your favourite smurf today, when people ask you why you are dressed like a smurf simply reply “It’s my prerogative.”
Sagittarius: If you have a headache at all today please be advised that it might be because you are wearing tight underwear. Going commando today is more effective than Advil (even the migraine kind)
Capricorn: Pooping in a bucket today is not okay, save that sh%t for the weekend.
Aquarius: Some people say that wearing hot pants in the fall is against all rules of fashion. You, Aquarius are the only one who can get away with this and only today.
Pisces: You will create a new law today that allows you to provoke squirrels with candy bars in public washrooms.
WEEKEND HOROSCOPES!!!
Posted on: August 20, 2010
Aries: Think your coffee or tea tastes funny today it is most likely because there is an excessive amount of urine and or spit in it.
Libra: Do you know someone named Greg? If so, call him today he wants to talk to you and he has misplaced your phone number.
Taurus: Do not touch any walls today. Walls are more fragile for Taurus’ during the weekend. They are more likely to collapse and or get dirty from your disgusting taurus hands.
Scorpio: Your one task this weekend should be to buy Rita MacNeil tickets. If you fail in doing so you should at least watch this.
Gemini: If you choose to eat any uncooked meat this weekend make sure it is not anything that starts with a t,c,x,f or p. If you eat any of these meats you will get sick and or die.
Cancer: Don’t be fooled by the Taurus next door, he/she just wants steal your canned tuna.
Leo: Hey leo, you probably celebrated a birthday recently or are celebrating one this weekend. Expect lots of attention and gifts. so no different than any other day. Leos are awesome. Laura is a leo, and she’s probably the best person ever. please send her birthday greetings and lots of gifts.
Virgo: You will be rejected three times by a man behind a desk. the fourth time he will welcome you with open arms and a shwarma combo.
Sagittarius: You’ll feel jealousy towards leos this weekend. its not their fault that they are popular. stop being a cry baby.
Capricorn: try to multitask this weekend. make dinner while bathing, or lift weights while sitting on the toilet. your productivity levels will be up up up! (and your bowel movements will be all systems go!)
Aquarius: big things will happen for you this weekend. and I mean BIG. I mean lots of money. you should probably quit your job today cause you wont need to work anymore.
Pisces: do a science project this weekend so that you feel like your life has meaning.
Thursday Horoscopes!
Posted on: August 19, 2010
Aries: did you know that thursdays are international “give a hooker a sandwich” day? So give that special hooker down your street a PB & J or a ham and swiss on whole wheat and she may give you something in return! A free movie coupon, obviously.
Libra: your chi-light is pretty low these days. cleaning out your fridge with mr. clean should fix this problem right up.
Taurus: life is pretty dull for you right now. add some auto-tune to your daily routine and reap the benefits of booty shakin’ rhythm and thousands of hits on youtube
Scorpio: summer is almost over and you STILL haven’t set up a lemonade stand?!! get on that girl.
Gemini: saying yes to a thumb war today is the right decision
Cancer: frodo once said, “I wish the ring had never come to me”. well, some unwanted things may come into your life that you must rise above. and if you’re a little person like frodo, you may need a step stool to do this.
Leo: You will feel like you are being followed today. It’s just your shadow…and your neighbour Jim. Didn’t know you had a neighbour Jim? Turn around and introduce yourself!
Virgo: Mate your kitten with a tiger today. You will get a hybrid kitten called a titten.
Sagittarius: Are you sad today? Watch this video and you will be happy.
Capricorn: Half of your body wants corn today. The other half will reject the corn if you eat it. Make your decision wisely.
Aquarius: You will have a spectacular day if you are wearing a yellow shirt or if you have recently moved offices. You will also get an unexpected phone call today.
Pisces: Feel like being anti-social tonight? Have the perfect night in! Rent Harry and the Hendersons and watch it in the nude!
Weekend Horoscopes!
Posted on: August 6, 2010
Aries: Today is Country Friday. which means that it is imperative you wear tight jeans, eat fried chicken and listen to this song.
Libra: Learn how to snowboard this weekend. no snow? I know. which is why it will be super challenging.
Taurus: skipping rope isn’t just for girls. impress your friends, and the neighborhood kids with your double dutch and Down in the valley moves. say “in your face!” when you’re done.
Scorpio: Having a lot of problems lately? stop cooking with cheese.
Gemini: Start buying shirts that are too small for you. It will make you look more muscular
Cancer: Leonardo DiCaprio dies at the end of inception
Leo: Eating paper this weekend will only mask your problems. Try eating cardboard.
Virgo: If you want to meet Bob Dylan, try walking 3 blocks to the north and sing this song He’s a big fan of the Moffats (as are we).
Sagittarius: Stop what you are doing right now. Wait ten seconds and start again. We’ve just saved you from having a mini
Capricorn: Cheerios for dinner tonight!
Aquarius: Baking beans for you significant other will help with any problem in your relationship (this weekend only)
Pisces: Go fishing? Hate fishing? Knit a sweater.
Thursday Horoscopes
Posted on: July 22, 2010
- In: horoscope | Uncategorized
- 1 Comment
Here are Thursdays horoscopes!
Aries: challenge a younger person to a game of chess today. They will use the Horse as a surprise attack to check mate you. Counter this by shaking the board and claiming there was another earthquake.
Libra: wear fancy slippers to work today. you deserve it
Taurus: go to a pottery class tonight and make some bowls. Take those bowls home and fill them with love and promises.
Scorpio: someone cannot reach you. your phone is most likely off. turn it back on.
Gemini: theres an old irish saying “May the cat eat you and the devil eat the cat”. which essentially means you should feed your cat more. or something like that…
Cancer: I sense that you have hostility towards rainbows. you should appreciate them a little bit more. like this guy.
Leo: Call a friend who you haven’t spoken to in a while. Blame the lack of communication on said person. Hang up the phone.
Virgo: If you see any sort of musician today make sure to give him/her 5 bucks. Tell them its for their midnight train to Georgia.
Sagittarius: Try out speed dating today. On your third date, take of your pants. This should spark something special.
Capricorn: Don’t trust any other Capricorns today, they are all thinking the same thing…”I want to be the leader of the Capricorn people and I will stop at nothing to get this power.
Aquarius: You look good today, real good. You will subscribe to a really awesome blog today.
Pisces: Beware of broken glass. Today you will avoid some glass on the ground..if you look closely at the glass it will be the exact shape of queen elizabeths head. You will sel this on ebay for $42,051.23
