Weekend Horoscopes!

Aries: Today is Country Friday. which means that it is imperative you wear tight jeans, eat fried chicken and listen to this song.

Libra: Learn how to snowboard this weekend. no snow? I know. which is why it will be super challenging.

Taurus: skipping rope isn’t just for girls. impress your friends, and the neighborhood kids with your double dutch and Down in the valley moves. say “in your face!” when you’re done.

Scorpio: Having a lot of problems lately? stop cooking with cheese.

Gemini: Start buying shirts that are too small for you. It will make you look more muscular

Cancer: Leonardo DiCaprio dies at the end of inception

Leo: Eating paper this weekend will only mask your problems.  Try eating cardboard.

Virgo: If you want to meet Bob Dylan,  try walking 3 blocks to the north and sing this song He’s a big fan of the Moffats (as are we).

Sagittarius: Stop what you are doing right now. Wait ten seconds and start again. We’ve just saved you from having a mini

Capricorn: Cheerios for dinner tonight!

Aquarius: Baking beans for you significant other will help with any problem in your relationship (this weekend only)

Pisces: Go fishing? Hate fishing? Knit a sweater.

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