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Interviews with a Douche: Nicolas Cage

Posted on: February 1, 2011


Our world is filled with some pretty amazing people. I can name atleast 5.  Nelson Mandela, Matt Damon, Laura Stradiotto, Robin McNicoll and James Franco.  Unfortunately we are also surrounded by quite a few douches.  If you look up douche in the dictionary the face of two men will appear.  Chad Kroeger and Nicolas Cage are captains of the douche factory.  We’ve already interviewed Chad so now we’ve decided to see how Nic would answer our celebrity interview.

Nicolas Cage was born on January 7, 1964 and since his mom was unable to stuff him back in he started his douche quest. I’ve always wondered how this incredibly unfortunate looking man with no substance made it into the entertainment business.  I’ve asked experts like David Suzuki, Bill Nye the Science Guy and Antoine Dodson and they all said they don’t really know, fo’ real!  Then I wikipedia’d him and found out that his uncle is  Francis Ford Coppola.  Sooo….maybe that’s how?  I don’t know that’s still a stretch. 

See Nic’s answers to our interview below. *Note all answers are based on a true story

1) What is your favourite 90’s sitcom?
I liked that commercial with the guy that everyone thought ate too many chocolate bars.
That’s a commercial.
Ya but he didn’t even eat a lot of chocolate bars, he just had acne.

2) Do you own any music by Rita MacNeil?
I banged her and by Rita I mean this 19 year old girl that I knocked up and married.  I’m so great.

3) Do you have any nicknames?
Substancetard, Dumb ass mo fo, Kim, Copolladouche and my mom called me Nancy but that was before the change to my no no parts.

4) Do you have a favourite youtube video? If so, what?
Love this video. I feel like it really shows my versatility as a hair model.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNz0POlwQP0

5) Do you have a favorite hat? If so, please describe or send us a photo of you wearing said hat
I have this one tattooed on my butt.

That is a tattoo with a squirel wearing a hat.
Pretty cool right!

6) Do you have any hidden talents? If so, please describe, or send us a video of you demonstrating said talent whilst wearing your favourite hat mentioned in question 5.

My mom says I’m pretty.


2 Responses to "Interviews with a Douche: Nicolas Cage"

Ah, Nick Cage, the only man who could be a dork even riding a motorcycle while his skull was on fire.

Great Blog!

Nicolas Cage Is great!

You saw the trailer for his latest film?

bye!
JS

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