Design Chick's Blogaboo!


As you all know, we have been overwhelmed with positive feedback from our movie review section.  We get about 7 zillion hits a day.  We have also gained about 72 million blog followers so as a thank you to all of them, we have decided to start reviewing some of their blogs.  We know how valuable our opinion is.  In fact 9 out of 10 times Obama reads our horoscopes 100 percent of the time.  We also understand that our opinion at times can be harsh.  I mean, did you read our Sex and the City review?  We are still getting hate mail from Samantha.  So the point is, we are sorry in advance if you are offended by our review in any way.  I think the traffic that will be generated towards your site will be well worth it though.

First blog we are going to review is a blog called Robotic Rhetoric. The tagline on this blog states Berking around since 1993.  Doubtful!  Blogs – otherwise known as online diaries only really became popular in 1998 and I doubt the Rhetoric Robot guy was a pioneer.  Upon further investigation I found  that the writer of this blog was actually born in 1993.  Yes that’s right he was born the same year the Toronto Blue Jays won the world series.  Poor guy, he probably didn’t even get to enjoy the series let alone Joe Carter’s amazing homer to win it all.  I investigated even further and realized that this guy is also from Oxford, England.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but what I know of England is they can only use computers on the upper deck of double decker buses and their keyboard is actually backwards.  So I was very surprised at how well-written this blog was.  I was also surprised to see that there were no Lions, witches, wardrobes or turkish delight (that I could find) on this blog.  Strange, I know.    I did find some rather amusing posts.  What I found even more amusing are his british expressions. He says, Jazz all (kinda like F*ck all –only way classier and more toothy).  My favourite expression he uses though is fur-ball glamourpussies which refers to Kate Middleton.  Just kidding read this article and you will see.  All-in-all I found this blog quite amusing.  The writing is witty and smart and the design is minimalistic.  Overall I give this blog 3 Anne Murray’s and one Mr. Tumnus out of 5.  Laura what did you think?

Well Robin, right off the bat one thing is extremely clear, this guy is totally not british! I mean come on, do brits actually say “naughty bits” and “cheeky”?? Pretty sure Madonna used those words when she put on her fake accent that one year, claiming the culture just “rubbed off” on her. <—-No really check it out, its balloks! Now I’m  not one to judge, I, like any westerner LOVES to fool people into thinking I’m a londoner – in line at the movies, at weddings on boats, elevators, and my personal favourite,  in a public washroom asking the neighbouring stall for a “spot of tissue.” Heck, sometimes I think in a British accent! All things aside, this blog gets my stamp of approval, its fun, whitty (another word I like to say in my accent), and completly random, which I think is the essence of great blogging. Don’t you hate it when you come across a blog thats written like a Margaret Atwood Novel? Please, if I wanted to learn about theorizing of canadian identity I’d take a light jog through the Group of Seven section at the AGO. BORING! wheres the Warhol at?!! I give this blog 4 british Madonnas out of 5! Great work Robot Rhetoric man, but what the heck does “Berking” mean?


At 9:45 this morning, a loud scream echoed through the windows of a TD bank at yonge and finch. Immediately following this disturbance, bystanders claim to have seen a large brown-haired figure, with a pink shirt and bulging purple backpack, bolt from the entrance. She has been identified as Dora Alejandrina Blanca Marquez. Formerly known by her screen name, Dora The Explorer. She was quickly detained after being spotted a few blocks from the bank, asking viewers at home to help her find ways to reach places with the help of her Map. Rookie mistake. Police have discovered that robbery is just part of a long list of felonies – drug trafficking, spousal abuse, and identity theft – to name a few. She is currently being held in custody at Pearson airport awaiting deportation to spain, where she will be tried as an adult – amongst the records of her colourful past, officals have discovered that Marquez is in fact a 45-year old midget hiding as an 8-year old girl. They believe she drew inspiration from the movie The Orphan.


You are welcome.  In advance.  You are going to read this post and then bake me some damn good cookies.   (chocolate chip with skor bits would be ideal).  Have you ever thought to yourself, jeepers this latte from starbucks is expensive… I could probably be doing something so much better with my money?  Well now, I can assure you that 5 dollars can pretty much get you anything you want.  Anything.  Maybe not a hooker…atleast not legally (yet).  Are you a struggling artist that needs a song written for you?  BOOM five dollars, it’s yours.  Are you a struggling parent in desperate need of a creepy guy wishing your child a happy birthday?  BOOM five dollars it’s yours. Have you ever wanted someone to write a specific message on a plate using only ketchup and mustard?  I sure have.  BOOM it’s yours for only 5 dollars!  Seriously this site (Fiverr.com) is probably the best thing to come to in the interweb since Designchicks. Check it out, I guarantee you will waste a lot of time.  Laura and I are going to check into it further.  We will let you know when we make our first purchase.


Aries: There’s a sale at fortinos on PC’s Smores Kits.  You should probably buy some and invite your good friend Aquarius up to your cottage this weekend.  Actually wait till next weekend, she’s more available then.  You’re aquarius friend is not a female?  Watch out then..he’s probably stollen your wallet or your first born child.  Don’t have a child yet?  That’s just what he’s made you believe.

Libra:  YOu need to do some serious soul searching today.  You’ve lost your soul, seriously and it can’t be found in no lost and found.  Perhaps look here.  Just kidding that’s just a bunch of funny batmans.  You are so screwed.

Taurus: Take a left turn out of your house today.  If this is not the direction you normally take than it is clearly a mistake to go to work and or wherever else you were going today.  Keep making lefts until you arrive at a yogurt shop.  Don’t forget to order some for your good friends at Design chicks.

Scorpio: You will join a pottery class today. While making a bowl, you will feel the presence of your recently decesed boyfriend. You will suddenly feel the urge to sing “unchained melody”. go with it. it’s hot. 

Gemini: Don’t take any chances today!  Your moon is around the seventh star to your left, which means you are extremely accident prone today.  May we suggest going out in public in this type of attire.

Cancer: Barney is back! and he’s coming to get you! no really…you should run. He says you owe him ten dollars…and we’ve seen him bust some knee caps… He starts with a song…It aint pretty.

Leo: You’ve been thinking about starting your own business. We know, it’s a risk. But you are ready. we’re thinking cupcakes!! maybe start your own show, called the cupcake girls! So original, never been done before at nauseum.

Virgo:  Today you should try and start a social media trend.  Make your facebook status ‘I like green yogurt on a pony.’  When people ask what that means just respond, “it’s to raise awareness for people who are scared of fabric.  You should do it too.. Take the colour of your underwear, the first thing you ate today and your favourite animal and that’s your status”.  See how many people hop on with this trend.

Sagittarius: Remember those collectable backstreet boys stickers that you sold at your parents garage sale 12 years ago? Well apparantly they’re worth thousands now. But don’t feel so bad, the howie one’s are worth nothing. He’s still a loser.

Capricorn: You’ve been eating waaaaay too much meat. Don’t you realize the Veganaria moon is in fill circulation this month? You’ve really been throwing off your chi. Drink some mustard, this should balance things.

Aquarius:  You are going to go to a cottage soon or you are going to steal someones baby and or wallet.  If you steal their wallet check to see if they have a gold starbucks card.

Pisces: “Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.” This beautiful song was actually a jingle for the hoover vacuum in 1952. no deeper meaning. none at all.

Ophiuchus:  You ate some magic dust today to see if you actually existed only to realize you just ate regular dust.  You are a disgrace Ophiuchus.  The only thing that exists less than you is Libra’s soul.


  Recently Justin Bieber has been in the news for allegedly  getting a littly fisty with a paparazzi.  We immediately called Justin to see what the scoop was. He told us via Skype that the press has got it all wrong.  They said he was leaving the movie theater with girlfriend Selena Gomez.  Dead wrong. Justin tells us he was actually just at the gym where he works out and he was with his trainer and mentor, Dana White..who just happened to be wearing a long brown wig and dress,  similar to Gomez’ style.  Justin tells us that he has been secretively training to become a UFC fighter.  We didn’t believe it at first so we contacted his agent who put us in touch with Dana White.  We talked to Dana via telephone.  He told us that Justin is one of the most promising young fighters he’s ever seen.  He believes that even though he’s only had 3 weeks of training he will be able to beat any fighter that gets sent his way and that he will be added to the next UFC lineup.  Dana says he believes he is so talented at fighting because he has had to fight off all d’em pre teen bitches for the last few years.

In conclusion, Justin didn’t punch a paparazzi.  He actually punched his sprawl partner. Who  cried like a little baby and decided to make up an elaborate story and sue Justin for a his donero.

Don’t believe us?  LOok at the picture. Clearly a UFC publicity photo.


Put your 3D glasses on, this post is about to get MULTI-DIMENSIONAL!
I know what your thinking, how can a simple blog post be 3D? thats ridiculous. Um hello, I’m pretty sure these words are popping out of the screen as we speak, sucks you can’t see it, it’s mad cool.

Someone who also masters 3D almost as good as us is James Cameron. And he’s probably the only person we know who can release a blockbuster hit a second time with 3D in the title and run away with millions! well probably zooming away on a segway, cause thats how nerds with too much money travel.

That brings us to our newest review – TITANIC THREEEEE DEEEEEE! Yes, Leo still dies in the end *spoiler alert*, No Kate Winslets boobs do not look any bigger, and yes, obviously there is a twist ending (the ship is invaded by a mexican gang). As different and exciting all of this was, it was still a great movie, brought me back to the days of being an awkward grade sevener and wishing Leo would be my boyfriend…things havent changed much. I give this movie 5 ritas riding a segwey out of 5!

what did you think Robin??

Woah chestnut!  Hold your horses!  5 Ritas?  Are you mad?  Have you completely lost your mind?
SHITTY MOVIE STRAIGHT AHEAD!
When I was in grade 8 (ya I’m older than Laura…wiser too and more accurate with movie reviews and horoscopes)  I didn’t really get the hype of Titanic.  I mean I had posters of Leo on my wall….I thought he was hot and all but I mean, did you see Good Will Hunting?  If you didn’t it’s not your fault.  It’s not your fault.  It’s not your fault.  I just realized that if you haven’t seen Good Will Hunting, you wouldn’t get what that’s all about.  So go to your local Jumbo Video and rent it, grab some free popcorn while you’re at it. GWH is much better than Titanic, and it was released in the same year.  ***Spoiler alert Matt Damon doesn’t die but he does take his shirt off.**  Okay back to reviewing Titanic.  Why is Rose so fat?  Just kidding.  But seriously Kate stop eating cheeseburgers…3d cameras add 3 times the weight.  Oh hush, hush.  I’m just kidding people.  So the overall this movie was just as good if not better than Final Destination….Titanic in 3D  was just as good if not better than The Final Destination…(that’s the one that’s in 3d). It is really too bad that Devon Sawa wasn’t there to predict the iceberg and save them all, only to have them all die in the by random crazy events.  That would have made a great movie.  I would have given that 4 rita’s or 5 if it was in 3d.  But it didn’t happen…so I’m going to give this movie 2 Rita’s on a boat with Devon Sawa and 1 George Bush eating a cat out of 5.  How do you like D’em Apples.  (Another great quote from Good Will Hunting…you should see it!)


Okay people.  Big news.  This is our 300th post.  Can you believe it?  We can’t. We were planning on posting our exclusive interview with Chuck Noris for our 300th post, unfortunately during the interview we asked him to demonstrate how to do a light  round-house kick.  We should have known better, he doesn’t know how to do anything light.  He kicked Laura in the grill and she forgot everything.  Even that she was married to Channing Tatum…but more importantly she forgot our password to log into our blog.  Anyways, Channing and Laura are doing fine…they’re actually just falling in love all over again.

Anyways, we are posting theses horoscope for future you. 300 year old you.  We know what you are thinking….I only know 3-4 people that have ever lived to 300!  Well we know for a fact (don’t forget we are licensed psychics legit fo’ real) that if you read this blog on a tri-daily basis you will live 3 times as long. Plus advances in modern medicine will tack on another 60-90 days/years.

Aries: 0011001001111100101010010011.  In the future you will know what this means.  Can’t wait?  We know…Aries’ are terribly impatient.  It says:  Stop painting with oils.  You are really bad at it.  (good thing you read this now…you could have wasted over 200 years)

Libra: Salmonella is no longer harmful to your body!  You have developed enough antibodies in the past few hundred years that you can now eat an entire chicken without even killing it.   Oh shoot…we are just kidding…hold your horses Libra.  We just wanted to test your gullibility…clearly still in tact.  Spit that chicken out fool!

Taurus:  You will have to take care of a sick friend today.  He/She may have gotten salmonella poisoning.

Scorpio: Your friend will try to convince you that you have salmonella poisoning only so they can swoop in and eat your yummy leftovers. don’t let this happen!! it is imperative you eat that day old mac n cheese. It’s good luck, but only if you wear a sock on your left hand while you chew thrice and swallow.

Gemini: I think its time to ride a Big Wheel. it will really accentuate your jawline.

Cancer: We read your career stars and it’s looking great! This month try getting into something that requires less talent. like zero. in fact, you better apply for Unemployment Insurance.

Leo:  You need to get some exercise.  Go for a swog.  You know a swim jog.  Yes you can jog on water in the future.  It burns 30% more calories than a swalking.

Virgo: your Y zone is palpitating and sending out pink and blue rays – this obviously shows that you are eating way too much fiber before swimming in your nearest public pool.

Sagittarius: You must dial this number: (416) 368-2937. This is Nicholas Cage’s Toronto Number. He is waiting for you.

Capricorn: Capricorn, we know you have always been jealous of peppercorn the delightful spice added to such certain dressings as ranch or creamy ranch or triple bacon ranch.  Well don’t fret, in the future capricorn will also be a spice, added to more conservative dressings like Italian and zesty Italian.

Aquarius: Kleenex spelled backwards is xeneelk. This is the name of the city you will live in, in the future. A city made entirely out of used tissues. Oh what a sight it will be!

Pisces: You need to slow down P dawg. Not everyone can keep up with your get-up-and-go attitude. It’s really offputting. So are those socks. Salmon? really? gross.

Ophiuchus:  You still don’t exist. Stop kidding yourself.  Look down.  Do you have a bellybutton?  Didn’t think so.  Proof..you don’t exist.


I know it’s been a while since Laura and I have blogged. I know you have been sitting by your computers in anticipation. Well, frig, get up and walk around! It’s not healthy to stare at the computer screen all day. Let alone, sit on that narsty chair for months. You will get sores on your bottom. Go for a jog and stop being lazy. But first, watch this. If you have seen it, you’re welcome…I’ve seen it 400 times and I still think it’s almost as good as the chicken video. If you haven’t seen it…you are really welcome. Ain’t nobody got time for not watching this video.


I would just like to say that Laura and I are mute and can only speak through blogging, so this does not represent us in the least.  Still funny though.  Watch episode 1 & 2 of Shit Girls Say below.


With Kessel, if you have a chance finish him! He’s a good player… but don’t shit your pants on him!!!”
John Tortorella

After months of desperate anticipation, and many sleepless nights, HBO’s Emmy-Award-winning, epic hit series “24/7” made it’s truiphant return this Wednesday and certainly did not disappoint. This time round, one of the National Hockey League’s most intense rivalries – The Philadelphia Flyers and the New York Rangers – is documented in the weeks leading up to the 5th annual NHL Winter classic outdoor game on January 2, 2012. The 4 part series provides fans with an unscripted, all-access experience into the lives of the two of the NHL’s best teams on and off the ice, before facing off in the first ever outdoor NHL game played at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia.

Now as you may or may not know I am a die-hard Toronto Maple Leafs fan, so naturally I would despise these two Eastern Conference rivals. However after watching just one episode of the new series I instantly have a renewed admiration for the teams – more specifically their Head Coaches Peter Laviolette and John Tortorella – who have both won Stanley Cups in 2006 and 2004 respectively. They tell it exactly like it is with their no holds barred attitudes towards their players and the game, and this truly resonates with me as a hockey player.

Also, for those of you who have not seen the 24/7 Penguins/Capitals from last year you may want to hide your kids, and hide your wife before watching this. If there was a drinking game for every time someone dropped an f-bomb, you would be passed out precisely within the first 10 minutes. I know Robin was. No lie! Key highlights of the episode include Flyers goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov explaining the universe and Russian booze, Sean Avery being Derek Zoolander, and anything John Tortorella says. BOOM!

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